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The Statistics and I
the Viva Voce Winner 2011

by Noel King

The Statistics and I

As an Irish citizen of Palestinian origin, stating my country of birth
often poses a problem, never more so than in completing
Daonáireamh na hÉireann (Census of Population of Ireland, Sunday, April 10th 2011).

I mean Jesus, Mary and Joseph
were surely not asked as many questions in the time of Caesar Augustus. My birthplace, Beit Jela,
lies in what is now the Israeli-occupied, West Bank.
Until 1948, it was Palestine.
But when I was born in 1951, it was under Jordanian rule
and I received a Jordanian Birth Certificate.
It was occupied by Israel in 1967
and is now referred to as the Occupied Palestinian Territories (OPT).
So, as I try to fill it all in
I notice I can only put in 17 characters for my answer,
so that officially sanctioned name – Occupied Palestinian Territories
does not fit. I wasn't sure if OPT was a recognised abbreviation,
so I called the Central Statistics Office help-line.

A very helpful boy put me through to a very helpful girl, who put me through to a very, very helpful girl, who put me on hold before putting me through to a very helpful boy who assures me he has trained as a statistician and the people in his department are statisticians too and after much consultation between me, my statistician and the rest of the statisticians the spokesman speaks:
"we all know it's occupied… so… Sir, you should just simply put down' Palestine'". Which I have done with pride and satisfaction.

© Noel King

Viva Voce Open Competition Winner 2011 Noel King reads his winning poem

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Cora Fenton performs amidst the audience at the opening of Michael Hartnett Literary & Arts Festival 2010

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